hi! I am Lori, in my 50s, married 20+ years to my husband, and a mom of three sons, one of whom is trans. We moved our family from Texas 5 years ago for a safer place for our sons to be themselves. I have been searching for a way to do more for kids like mine. It would be my honor to be your mom, your friend, your coffee date, your shopping buddy, your person to text.
I am including below something I wrote recently that made some impact online. I want to do more. 🏳️⚧️
Do You Not See The Faucet?
Lori Ryan 2023
Queer and trans kid are ordinary kids. Kids brave enough to voice what is causing them such dissonance of self that they need help. It is no different than being brave enough to get help with learning disabilities, depression, and mental health struggles.
It is no different to take your child to a doctor to talk about why the reproductive organs they were born with do not fit who they are on the inside than it is to take them to a doctor to talk about acne or a sports injury. It has nothing to do with religion, morals, or raising snowflakes.
This is OUR job, as the adults, the parents, the humans with experience to help our kids. Everyone’s kids. These are the people who will be here when we are gone. Except, they might not be.
Today, 82% of trans youth have considered suicide, 40% have attempted suicide, with suicidality highest among transgender youth.
Read that again. 82% That is more than 8 of 10.
It is baffling to me that so many people in this country can hear that and not be bothered by it. I know they are not bothered by it because this country is systematically removing all protections for trans kids and their families. There are people in this country making it a criminal act to take your child to a doctor to talk about why they are considering suicide - if it is because their gender identity does not match the plumbing. And there are millions of other people nodding their head saying, yes, sure, that sounds sensible. Better not listen to kids that feel like that, or incredibly, believe parents are forcing this onto their poor impressionable child.
There are millions more people that just do not have time to care, because it has nothing to do with them. I get it, the media does a fantastic job making everything an outrage. Making the wrong things an outrage. Distracting. Overwhelming. The firehose is the distraction, the dripping faucet in the basement is filling in the foundation of our world with this ugliness.
And then there are the rest of us, looking around at friends, family, acquaintances, strangers and wondering. Do you not see the faucet?
Do you not see that 19 states on our country already have law or policy banning gender affirming care up to age 18? Do you not see that an additional 8 states are currently considering the same? Do you not see some states are trying to ban gender affirming care to age 25 or beyond?
26 states. 26 states are spending the wealth of their governmental leaders knowledge to target transgender children. Firehose indeed.
People, wake the fuck up. Transgender children are not a problem to be solved by making it illegal to help them. They are not a problem at all. Maybe we should be paying attention to some other things? Like what happened to the value of honesty? Integrity? Equality? Gun violence? The ability to decide what happens with your own body?
While I understand trans kids are a distraction, understand that it really does not matter why they are being targeted. Understand that every queer child is my child. And you will not mess with my child. I am one mom, but I am not.
I am an Ally. And it is not nearly enough.