Make time to listen
A message or a conversation can mean a lot. You don't need to fix someone's life to be a caring part of it.
Be a stand-in
Be the person who shows up.
You don't have to have all the answers. Being a stand-in starts with listening, accepting someone as they are, and following through on what you offer.
“We’re not strangers. We’re family that just hasn’t met yet.”
Daniel Blevins, founder of Stand In PrideStart with what you can offer.
Support looks different for everyone. Ask what would help, be clear about your availability, and let the relationship grow at a pace that works for both of you.
Share an ordinary day
Coffee, a walk, or a birthday can be a chance to get to know someone. Make plans together, without pressure.
Stand beside someone
Some members are looking for support at a wedding or another important event. Be honest about what you can commit to.
Your next step
Start close
to home.
The same groups welcome people looking for a stand-in and people offering to be one.
You'll need a Facebook account to request membership. Check the group’s rules and entry questions before joining.
All official community links ↗Your location choice stays on this page. We don't save it.
Choose a group
NortheastConnecticut · Delaware · District of Columbia · Maine · Maryland · Massachusetts · New Hampshire · New Jersey · New York · Pennsylvania · Rhode Island · Vermont · Virginia · West VirginiaRequest to join on Facebook (opens in a new tab)SoutheastAlabama · Arkansas · Florida · Georgia · Louisiana · Mississippi · North Carolina · South Carolina · TennesseeRequest to join on Facebook (opens in a new tab)MidwestIllinois · Indiana · Iowa · Kansas · Kentucky · Michigan · Minnesota · Missouri · Nebraska · North Dakota · Ohio · South Dakota · WisconsinRequest to join on Facebook (opens in a new tab)SouthwestArizona · Colorado · New Mexico · Oklahoma · Texas · UtahRequest to join on Facebook (opens in a new tab)WestAlaska · California · Hawaii · Idaho · Montana · Nevada · Oregon · Washington · WyomingRequest to join on Facebook (opens in a new tab)InternationalConnect with the international communityRequest to join on Facebook (opens in a new tab)
Being a good stand-in
Care starts with respect.
Can allies join?
Yes. The groups welcome allies and LGBTQ+ people who want to offer support. Read your regional group’s rules and answer its membership questions.
Do I have to be a parent?
Support can be friendship, sibling-like connection, or a parental presence. Be yourself and listen to what someone is looking for.
How much time do I need?
Offer what you can realistically give. Discuss expectations together and follow through on the plans you make.
What should I keep in mind?
Respect names, pronouns, privacy, and boundaries. Ask before offering advice or sharing a story. Read the Community Guidelines for more.
Can I support the cause in other ways?
Yes. Make a donation, visit the store, or share the website with someone who might find it useful.
Small moments count.
Connor met Diana and her son for breakfast during a road trip. That one day made a difference.